I'm how old?

"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"
~ Satchel Paige

This year, as I watched Mia count down with glee to her 4th birthday and ask nearly everyday when her 5th birthday will be, I remembered how when I was young, I couldn't wait to get older. While I still look forward to my birthday, I've lost my joy over attaining that extra year. I've never been one to deny my age. Maybe because I always look younger than I am.  Today is my 34th birthday. 34...while I don't deny it, I can't believe it. I sure don't feel 34. I think my mind got stuck somewhere around 29. Old enough to be past the bad choices and stupidity of my early 20's and still not yet the dreaded 30. Maybe it's because my life finally came together at 29. Or maybe it's because that year was such a whirlwind of change that I haven't recovered yet! That was the year Jason and I got married and we were blessed with Mia. Life has been so crazy hectic since. I don't think my mind has caught up!

My body on the other hand, has decided that I am about 75. I don't have enough fingers to count all the ways my body is betraying me. Too many aches and pains! As I sat in the cardiologist's office yesterday with a room full of other patients easily 40 years older than me, I could feel all eyes on me as everyone (including myself) wondered what in the world I was doing there. Today as I woke up, my first sensation was being tangled up in the heart monitor I have to wear for the next several hours. What a way to wake up on my birthday, with a reminder of my ailments! 

Gray hair is like a crown of glory: it is attained in the path of righteousness.
~ Proverbs 16:31

Really God? You're going to have to help me with this one because as I'm looking in the mirror, I just don't see those gray hairs as a blessing. And please forgive me because I have every intention of covering them up!

All in all, I embrace my 34 years and vow to make this year one of regaining health and growing in faith and wisdom.

"Do not regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many."
~ unknown

Happy 34th birthday to me!!!